i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
