p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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