i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
