I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
