OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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