so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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