just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
