I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
