i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize