I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
