I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize