The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
