I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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