he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
