Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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