Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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