This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
