How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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