he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
