i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Randomize
