I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize