i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
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I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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