We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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