508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
