so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
