i don't like sucking hair
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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