So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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