and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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