You made me cry and you don't even care
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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