sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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