I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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