I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
