Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
