i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize