Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
