i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
