this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
