IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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