Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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