it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
