Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
