Im at strip club and am horny
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
