Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
