Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
