Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
