You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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