weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
