and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
