Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize