i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
