so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
