Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
