There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
