i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
