Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
