evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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