where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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