? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
