508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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